Mother’s Day Special II

Did you know?

While Tom Waits celebrates mother’s day today just like any other Joe Shmoe with a standard sense of decency, he celebrates Father’s Day on Christmas. Now don’t get all worked up with ideas of immaculate conceptions, it just so happens that Waits was conceived under a public Christmas tree on Christmas night, where his future parents happened to meet each other while hiding from the cold. That was the last contact Waits had with his father, after which he boarded the next train to absent fatherhood. Waits honors the occasion by having a threesome under a fully decorated Christmas tree - i.e. doing two birds with one Tom.

Bit of irony

Did you know?

You can’t google “Tom Waits”, but you can Tom Waits “google”. (Which might go a long way in explaining the blog’s falling stats…just a theory).

Mother’s Day special

Did you know?

After years of wondering how any normal woman could survive a pregnancy with a person of Tom Waits’ magnitude and volatility, scientists discovered that Tom Waits’ mother’s womb was naturally lined with titanium. Rumor has it that Tom’s titanium plated umbilical chord is still kept on display in the Waits parental home.

Tom don’t fear the reaper

Did you know?

Tom Waits has had one near death experience. Since then death doesn’t risk coming close. Pansy.

Tom don’t need no water

Did you know?

When they say that Tom Waits is on fire, it’s no euphemism. If you put a piano, a bottle of whiskey and a good looking woman in front of Tom there’s a good chance the intensity of his wit and talent will cause him to spontaneously burst into flame. That’s why even if playing a private party or a small club, the event will be supervised by the local fire brigade.

The Waits effect

Did you know?

Tom Waits has no fingerprints. Those have been burned off by a lifetime of careless cigarette handling. The only mark Waits leaves behind is shot glass rings and electromagnetic instability, better known to physicists as the “Waits effect”. Currently, astro-physicists are working on a theory linking the Waits effect with the creation of black holes. Waits’ comment on the matter was that the only black holes he creates are in his own memory.

Naughty babe!

Did you know?

Tom Waits was born with whiskey breath and a hard-on, and when the nurse smacked his bottom, he smacked hers right back.

It’s a bird!

Did you know?

Tom Waits can fly. It’s a regular bar trick of his and many people who had spent the whole of the previous night drinking with him claim to have seen him perform this amazing feat, then start laughing uncontrollably because they remember something funny he said and pass out.

Waits lights?

Did you know?

Tom Waits isn’t addicted to cigarettes. Cigarettes are addicted to Tom Waits. They just can’t help themselves. Whenever Tom’s around cigarettes try to pop into his mouth. A lot of times it takes Tom a lot of effort to even remove the cigarette from his mouth between drags. In all fairness though, who can blame them?

When giants meet

Did you know?

Before planning a collaboration with the Rolling stones, Tom Waits and Keith Richards were put together in the same room for about 15 minutes as a test run. Supposedly nothing happened. But later that night anyone who was in the building at the time got laid and also developed a dependency on an addictive drug. No conclusions have been drawn or resolutions made as to whether this is a desired or an undesired outcome of the combination.