Posts Tagged ‘alcohol’

Bad credit

July 9, 2008

Did you know?

Even though he’s had a long and extremely successful career, Tom Waits has the worst credit in the world. Credit card companies refuse to issue credit cards to Tom’s name because they know that although it hasn’t happened yet, there’s still a great risk that Tom might blow his entire fortune on a bender and disappear into thin air. So Tom’s forced to use cash to make his liquor purchases.

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Contact hangover

May 30, 2008

Did you know?

Tom Waits doesn’t get hangovers. You see the mandatory hangover usually creeps up on Tom, then realizes who it’s dealing with and jumps onto the next nearest person instead. That is why if you’re hanging with Tom you might end up catching a contact hangover, without ever drinking a drop. Still, it’s totally worth it.

Old Sloshy

May 21, 2008

Did you know?

Tom Waits once tried to produce his own wine called “Old Sloshy”, however due to gross mismanagement the first crop of the newly established vineyard was demolished when Waits and his workers (i.e. buddies) decided that they really didn’t feel like waiting for the wine to ferment. After finishing every single grape in the estate and not feeling any drunker, Waits consented that perhaps when it comes to booze he should stick to purchasing and consuming.

Tele-alchoholinesis

April 21, 2008

Did you know?

Tom can consume the content of a bottle with his mind! He can do this at a distance of almost 25 meters. Tom discovered this skill when one night in a bar he ran out of money and the bartender was being a bastard. Tom emptied half the bottles behind the bartender’s back only by staring at them, and really really wanting another drink. So remember kids, when there’s a will, there’s a way!

Golden shower

April 14, 2008

Did you know?

Tom Waits’s urine has the highest pecentage of alcohol than any other liquid known to man, though it is rarely used for pharmacuetical purposes. Mostly, he serves it up with ice in parties.


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