Posts Tagged ‘mother’s day’

Mother’s Day Special II

May 11, 2008

Did you know?

While Tom Waits celebrates mother’s day today just like any other Joe Shmoe with a standard sense of decency, he celebrates Father’s Day on Christmas. Now don’t get all worked up with ideas of immaculate conceptions, it just so happens that Waits was conceived under a public Christmas tree on Christmas night, where his future parents happened to meet each other while hiding from the cold. That was the last contact Waits had with his father, after which he boarded the next train to absent fatherhood. Waits honors the occasion by having a threesome under a fully decorated Christmas tree – i.e. doing two birds with one Tom.


Mother’s Day special

May 10, 2008

Did you know?

After years of wondering how any normal woman could survive a pregnancy with a person of Tom Waits’ magnitude and volatility, scientists discovered that Tom Waits’ mother’s womb was naturally lined with titanium. Rumor has it that Tom’s titanium plated umbilical chord is still kept on display in the Waits parental home.

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